Newton sees Mithunda and Rajnikanth films!
 
Recently the father of physics made a visit to earth to watch a movie. He watched a few Indian movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologised for everything he had done.

In the movie of Mithun Chakravarthy Newton dada was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:

 

1)Mithunda has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Mithunda is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Mithunda

 

2)In one of the movies, Mithunda is confronted with 2 gangsters. Mithunda has a Gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what he does.......  He holds a knife in his hand and shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters. Then, Mithunda utters the following dialogue "Apun ka naam hai HIRA, Apun ne sabko Chiraa".

 

3)Mithunda is chased by a gangster. Mithunda has a revolvver but he got no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Mithunda opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... And the gangster dies....

 

4)The heroine is tied to an electric chair and the remote is in the hands of the villain about 100 km away. As usual, the villain confronts the hero saying "Hathiyar phek do warna main yeh remote ka button dabake tumhari mehbooba ko mar doonga".


The usual fight occurs and just as the hero makes the final blow, the villain dies but not before he presses than damn button. Now what to do? Sure enough, there is a horse and the hero jumps on it. Now there is a race: The current in the cable connected to the electric chair is moving fast but our hero and his horse are desparately trying tocatch up.... goes on for a few km and just as the current would hit the chair, the hero jumps from the horse and picks the girl away from the chain and husssshhhh. She is saved. The poor electric current only goes to an empty chair. Climax, taaalian. Hero! Hero!! Hero!!!

This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely pissed off and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a Rajnikanth movie for one last time and thought that atleast one movie will follow his theory of physics.

The whole movies goes fine and newton is happy that all in the world hasnt changed. Oops not so fast. The climax finally arrives. Rajni gets to know that the villian is on the the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajni can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajni has to desparalety kill the villian because its the climax Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible.. Rajni suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall ,he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villian is dead.

 

Newton faints !!!

==========================================================

 -Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next
when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said, "This is Banta singh
from Phagwara, District Kapurthala. I am ringing to inform you that we are
officially declaring the war on you!"
"Well, Banta singh," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news!
How big is your army"
"Right now," said Banta singh, after a moment's calculation, "there is
myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbour Bhagat, and the entire kabaddi
team from the gurudwara. That makes eight"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Banta singh that I have one million men in
my army waiting to move on my command." "Arrey O! Main kya.. " said Banta singh. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Banta singh called again. "Mr. Hussein, it is Banta singh, I'm call ing from Phagwara STD, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Banta singh" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Banta singh, that I have 16,000 tanks and
14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2
million since we last spoke."

"Oh ....." said Banta singh. "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Banta singh rang again the next day.
"Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves
airborne...... We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of
shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four school pass
boys from Malpur have joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell
you, Banta singh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My
military complex is surro unded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
sites. And since we last spoke,I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"?????...." said Gurmuk, "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Banta singh called again the next day.
"Kiddan, Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off
the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart"
"Well," said Banta singh, "we've all had a long chat over a couple of
lassi's, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of wars!"

##################################################

 

 

 L AW OF THE BATHROOM:

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF THE THEATRE: People with the seats at the furthest

from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: 
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional  to the reach.
LAW OF THE TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, 
you never get an engaged one. 
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, 
will roll to the least  accessible corner. 
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone 
that a machine won't work, it will.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become 
coated with  grease,your nose will begin to itch. 
LAW OF VARIATION: If you change queues, the one you 
have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. 
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late 
for work because you had a flat tire, the Next morning you 
will have a flat tire.
 LAW OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS: 
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you 
are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, 
your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the
 coffee is cold  no matter how hot your coffee is.
Newton's three law:

" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money. "
first law:
"a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy,

continue to be in love with him, until on unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy."
second law:
" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance."
third law:
"the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals

 

 

 HOME