A mathematician got tired of mathematics. He thought he would do something actually beneficial to the common men. So after some thought, he decided to join fire brigade.
The fire-brigade officials were initially doubtful about his efficiency to carry out earthly tasks, as he has been a mathematician. So, they decided to have an interview. "So, what would you do if you see a house on fire?" asked an official in the interview board.
"Well, I shall come with the fire engine, search for a water source nearby..." started the mathematician and surprisingly he described fighting against the fire very well. The officials were impressed and they were about to take him in. One of them then just asked, "What would you do if you see a house which is not on fire?" The mathematician took a long time to think and then said "I shall set it on fire." Astonished, the officials asked, "But why?"
The answer came, "Thus I reduce the problem to a previously solved one."
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One day a physicst, a chemist and a biologist went to a sea, Biologist was observing algea on sea shore and he drowned, physicst was observing waves of water, he also drowned!
Finally chemist took out his observation book and wrote:
"physicsts and biologists are soluble in sea water"
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Q: Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
A: Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
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Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.
The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow". The second one says: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet".
The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45"!!
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Why physicists dont make MONEY?
"Knowledge is Power" . . . (1)
"Time is Money" . . . . . (2)
Using formula:
Power = Work / Time
Using (1) and (2)
Knowledge = Work / Money
This implies:
Money = Work / Knowledge
So when Knowledge increases, money decreases. For infinite Money, let Knowledge approach zero....
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One day a Physicist tried to prove that all odd numbers are prime. He set out with a list of odd numbers, a pen and a calculator:
1,3,5,7,9,11,13,15,17,19......
He arrived at the following results
Number..........Status(prime or not)
01........................Yes
03........................Yes
05........................Yes
07........................Yes
09........................No
11........................Yes
13........................Yes
15........................No
17........................Yes
19........................Yes
Thus verified ALL ODD NUMBERS ARE PRIME.
Note: The disagreement of 09 and 15 falls within the limits of experimental error.
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One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated physics concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information."
"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
If you have some good jokes with you, then You can also contribute and make it rich. Just you have to do is mail it to me and your contributed stuffs will be placed in one dedicated page named after you. So rush...!!
NB: I know You will never send such things.